{"id":289310,"date":"2023-09-10T04:19:29","date_gmt":"2023-09-10T04:19:29","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/sportslifetale.com\/?p=289310"},"modified":"2023-09-10T04:19:29","modified_gmt":"2023-09-10T04:19:29","slug":"sacrifices-privilege-and-life-in-the-spotlight-what-is-it-like-to-be-the-partner-of-an-afl-player","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/sportslifetale.com\/rugby-league\/sacrifices-privilege-and-life-in-the-spotlight-what-is-it-like-to-be-the-partner-of-an-afl-player\/","title":{"rendered":"Sacrifices, privilege and life in the spotlight: What is it like to be the partner of an AFL player?"},"content":{"rendered":"

Save articles for later<\/h3>\n

Add articles to your saved list and come back to them any time.<\/p>\n

Each year, thousands of photos are taken <\/span>to immortalise a team\u2019s premiership win<\/span>. The celebrations, the families, after parties and maddest of Mondays.<\/p>\n

But behind all of that, says Emma Hawkins, are many hands that helped make it all happen \u2013 and not pictured are the sacrifices that go beyond those made on the field.<\/p>\n

\u201cIf you could have seen the back end of the beautiful photos and videos that were shared, there were a lot of tired mums with lollipops and bags and feeding on the side and tag-teaming kids,\u201d said Hawkins, wife of three-time premiership player Tom, who won one of those flags in 2022.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Mardi and Patrick Dangerfield with their children after the 2022 premiership.<\/span>Credit: <\/span>Brianstorm\/Mushroom – supplied by Mardi Dangerfield<\/cite><\/p>\n

After Geelong won the <\/span>premiership last year, Hawkins said Cats CEO Steve Hocking made a speech to the inner circle, including families, that resonated with her. It was about how there were many fingertips on the cup.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou really felt that because everyone, not just the players, but everyone did so much behind the scenes,\u201d said Hawkins.<\/p>\n

\u201cAfter we won, it was obviously so enjoyable and it was almost a relief because it was everyone had worked so hard. Not just the players, but the sacrifices that the partners and the kids had made.\u201d<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Emma and Tom Hawkins.<\/span>Credit: <\/span>Getty Images<\/cite><\/p>\n

\u2018Things can change so quickly\u2019<\/h3>\n

The nature of the draft \u2013 and sometimes trading \u2013 means the lives of player partners, including where they live, can be heavily influenced and at times dictated by playing careers.<\/p>\n

Hawkins, who grew up on a farm in Deniliquin in NSW and is the owner of a small business called Homegrown Kids, said she thought hard about what type of career would suit her \u2013 keeping in mind she\u2019d need something \u201cinterchangeable and that had a flexibility\u201d given the nature of Tom\u2019s career. She and Tom have been together since high school and now have three kids, all under the age of six.<\/p>\n

\u201cWith football, you can be relocated or things can change so quickly, so it was always a conscious decision [her career path]\u2026 When kids come into the picture, you do really feel the inflexibility at times,\u201d said Hawkins.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ve always been prepared that unexpected relocations can happen and unforeseen events, like injuries. So, I\u2019ve always never really been too set on where we are, it just has turned out that Tom has been here [in Geelong] for 17 years. So, we\u2019ve been incredibly lucky.\u201d<\/p>\n

Olivia Burke, fianc\u00e9e of Richmond star and former Sun Tom Lynch, had to manage the uncertainty of Lynch\u2019s contract with her own burgeoning career in marketing when they were living together on the Gold Coast.<\/p>\n

\u201cI just had to have a bit of faith in the universe that everything will work out. So, I wasn\u2019t like super stressed \u2026 But definitely [had] a little bit of like, oh, \u2018what does this mean for me?\u2019\u201d said Burke of the uncertainty before Lynch\u2019s move to Punt Road. <\/p>\n

And it\u2019s not just the potential for a sudden relocation. Mardi Dangerfield, wife of Geelong captain and premiership player Patrick, described a constant and unwavering consideration for their partner\u2019s careers, even in the off-season.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re so regimented by something that\u2019s not actually anything to do with you. You\u2019re like, you don\u2019t necessarily have the freedoms of choice,\u201d said Dangerfield. The couple also has three kids together.<\/p>\n

Hawkins said it wouldn\u2019t be that different from what other families deal with, such as those with fly-in, fly-out jobs. But \u201cthe uniqueness of the career is that it is public and things can change so quickly\u201d.<\/p>\n

But there are privileges that come with football, which Dangerfield was quick to acknowledge.<\/p>\n

\u201cWe\u2019re under no illusions of head start in life that it has given us, the opportunities, the people we\u2019ve got to meet, the places we\u2019ve been able to go,\u201d said Dangerfield.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt definitely gives a lot. And it has to give you more, right? Like it has to tip the scales in the positive because otherwise you wouldn\u2019t do it because you\u2019re not guaranteed that grand final.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u2018[Football] shouldn\u2019t have been a factor\u2019<\/h3>\n

There are also times when players\u2019 partners can be thrust into very public scrutiny at what is a private time.<\/p>\n

Both Dangerfield and Hawkins\u2019 children were born during their husbands\u2019 playing careers and have had to manage the births with the immovability of football games and trainings.<\/p>\n

For Dangerfield, that included having a baby due around the grand final last year.<\/p>\n

Dangerfield said there was never any doubt that Patrick would have played and, given it was her third child, she \u201cwas never concerned\u201d. But she has some regrets about how football affected the decisions she made for the birth of her first child.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

The Dangerfields with their three children.<\/span>Credit: <\/span>Casey Bell – supplied by Mardi Dangerfield<\/cite><\/p>\n

\u201cWe had 5-6 different plans for every scenario. But with George, our first, I let football have a significant impact on my decision-making and that still doesn\u2019t sit well with me. Nothing dramatic and it was uneventful but it shouldn\u2019t have been a factor.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s a strange situation to have so many people wanting to know such personal plans when it\u2019s a really intimate time. I understand the interest, but it does create unnecessary pressure on a family unit … Only the clubs need to know if they can pick them that week or not.\u201d<\/p>\n

It\u2019s a situation Mikayla Crisp finds herself in during this finals series. She is 34 weeks pregnant and her husband Jack is a member of the Collingwood side that has secured a spot in a preliminary final in two weeks\u2019 time.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ve already said to him, we\u2019re not even talking about it. I\u2019d want him to play. So, especially given it you know, this time of the year with footy finals and this is what they strive towards the whole year,\u201d said Crisp.<\/p>\n

She said the timing of the pregnancy meant Jack would be home for the first few months of the newborn period \u2013 something he didn\u2019t get to experience with their first two children.<\/p>\n

She\u2019s grateful her kids get to grew up around Collingwood and create memories there.<\/p>\n

\u201cThe boys being able to take them in to sing the song and running out on the ground … I know that one day they\u2019ll look back and just think \u2018how awesome is, you know, how awesome is that? That we got to do that?\u2019\u201d said Crisp.<\/p>\n

Relief and joy, the emotional roller-coaster<\/h3>\n

Players\u2019 families know all about the highs and lows of football. \u201cYou just live that as a partner or family member, you absolutely are on that roller-coaster,\u201d Dangerfield said. \u201cWhen the roller-coaster is down, it can be kind of exhausting emotionally.<\/p>\n

\u201cEven the off-season last year, just felt different. The disappointment, I think, after losing finals and there were plenty of finals like they lost. Obviously, it\u2019s well-documented [the] loss of elimination finals of the qualifying preliminary finals, that disappointment really lingers and there\u2019s nothing you can do about it \u2026 you\u2019re just in the aura of that disappointment.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou do go through a lot… [And when] the highs are high, you don\u2019t necessarily get the best part of the high either.\u201d<\/p>\n

Dangerfield said Patrick winning the premiership last year was a mixture of \u201cimmense relief and joy\u201d.<\/p>\n

\u201cThat relief is just like \u2018thank God\u2019 because it had to be worth it.<\/p>\n

\u201cSo then you sort of turned to like the other partners or other people who are having the same experience as you, too. I think that\u2019s part of why lots of partners do become really good friends, you sort of have these shared experiences.\u201d<\/p>\n

Keep up to date with the best AFL coverage in the country. <\/i><\/b>Sign up for the Real Footy newsletter<\/i><\/b>.<\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

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Save articles for later Add articles to your saved list and come back to them any time. Each year, thousands of photos are taken to immortalise a team\u2019s premiership win. The celebrations, the families, after parties and maddest of Mondays. But behind all of that, says Emma Hawkins, are many hands that helped make it […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":289309,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[18],"tags":[],"yoast_head":"\nSacrifices, privilege and life in the spotlight: What is it like to be the partner of an AFL player? - Sports Life Tale<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/sportslifetale.com\/rugby-league\/sacrifices-privilege-and-life-in-the-spotlight-what-is-it-like-to-be-the-partner-of-an-afl-player\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Sacrifices, privilege and life in the spotlight: What is it like to be the partner of an AFL player? - Sports Life Tale\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Save articles for later Add articles to your saved list and come back to them any time. 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